What not to do when a relative dies, up to 9 and 40 days

Below you will find signs that people who have buried a loved one need to know - when you can open a mirror after the funeral, do cleaning and repairs, watch TV. There are many restrictions and prohibitions that were invented by our ancestors, for the most part, back in pre-Christian times.

Signs and rituals immediately after the death of a person

The bitter news does not just resonate with pain in the soul. It imposes a whole list of responsibilities on the relatives and friends of the deceased. Detail:

You must immediately open the window or window. According to legends, the soul needs a “way out” from home. This is a tribute to the misconceptions of the forefathers about what happens after the departure. The ancients believed that in a locked space an immortal part of a person could get lost. Then he will forever remain between the worlds and begin to appear in the form of a ghost.
At the same time, all mirrors must be covered with a dark cloth. Looking at them means bringing disaster to yourself and those around you.
Strict mourning is established in the apartment. This means turning off the TV or receiver. You cannot have fun, invite guests (except for funerals), laugh, have fun. Literature, TV shows, magazines, and gadgets are prohibited. The computer is used exclusively for business purposes.
Until the corpse is buried, relatives are forbidden to cut their hair, wash their hair, or shave. Bathing procedures are recognized as disrespect for the fact of death. Trouble may follow.
Cleaning, trash removal, and laundry are prohibited. It is allowed to sweep away litter and put small things in their places.

The front door is not locked. Previously, they opened wide so that the neighbors would know about the trouble.

Organizing funeral events now comes down to hiring the appropriate agency. Previously, the deceased was washed and dressed on their own. This is also associated with certain prohibitions:

Older women were supposed to wash the deceased. They are invited for a fee. The grandmother ties the legs and arms of the newly deceased with ropes even before the corpse freezes. The strings are removed before burial in the graveyard. We must make sure that the ties are not taken away. Through them they perform black witchcraft.
They dress the deceased in his personal belongings. New ones, specially purchased for this purpose, are allowed. If they couldn’t put shoes on, they put them in the coffin.

It is strictly forbidden to dress your body in someone else's clothes. The same applies to a relative’s personal accessories. Nothing other than the items of the deceased should go into the coffin. According to signs, the deceased can take with him to the next world those whose property is buried with his corpse.

When to open the mirror

It is a well-known fact that after a person’s death, all reflective surfaces are supposed to be covered. These are not only mirrors, but also televisions, computer monitors and other things in which you can see your reflection. This is done so that the reflection of the deceased does not remain in the house, and his ghost does not appear alive.

There will be a lot of decisions about when you can open a mirror after a funeral. One at a time, this can be done immediately after returning from the cemetery and the wake. According to other beliefs, this is done three days later, or not earlier than the ninth day after death. But these are all modern traditions. In villages to this day, curtains are removed from mirrors only on the 41st day, when the fate of the soul of the deceased has already been decided.

Signs are based on the path of the deceased. So, after three days after death, his guardian angel takes him to inspect paradise. For 9 days he will appear before the Lord and go to inspect hell. On the 40th day, the soul is given a final verdict on where it will reside. Since only the first three days after death the soul is among the living, the mirrors can be opened after it leaves it. That is, on the fourth day. Previously, it was believed that during all 40 days the soul could visit relatives from time to time. That’s why they didn’t open the mirrors all this time.

Sometimes mirrors are not covered at all. For example, when a person died in a hospital, and his body is taken to the cemetery from the morgue, and not from home. It is not right. A person’s soul will still return home and stay near loved ones during their lifetime. Sometimes only those mirrors that are located where the deceased is located are covered. It is also incorrect, because the soul will wander through all the rooms of the house.

Some Slavic superstitions claim that whoever looks first into a mirror opened after a funeral will soon die. To prevent this, the cat is brought to the mirror first. She is not afraid of this sign.

Traditions at the time of the funeral and after

The course of the event is strictly regulated. The algorithm should be followed especially strictly if the deceased is taken out of the apartment.

What to do:

Prayers according to faith are read over the coffin, which must “spend the night” at home. It is allowed to stay awake in turns or invite old ladies.
Domovina is carried out feet first by people who are not related to the deceased by blood ties. The lid is separate. It is forbidden to walk in front of the coffin. Whoever disobeys will also die soon.
Immediately, as soon as people leave the apartment, they wash the floors in the direction from the room to the threshold.
The door and windows must be locked. Opened - a signal of an imminent new death in the family.

What is not allowed at the cemetery:

Kissing a corpse on the lips is not good. They say goodbye by touching their lips to their forehead.
It is undesirable to cry out loud during the process or shed tears. They say that the moisture in the eyes drowns the dead.
Do not go near graves other than fresh ones. Visit your family later. This is not a good omen.
You cannot take away from the graveyard the ropes or towels on which the coffin is lowered into the grave. They are thrown there too.

In Orthodoxy, it is not forbidden to see off the newly deceased with fresh flowers. On the contrary, each person saying goodbye must bring an even number of twigs. Red carnations are usually used. Superstitions claim that the variety of colors of buds disrupts the mourning mood.

Before leaving the cemetery, be sure to wash your hands of the soil. Otherwise, the “deadly road” will swallow the family entirely. The handkerchief is kept. They are allowed to be used for their intended purpose. Believers pray to remember the deceased.

Landmark: spruce branches

On the road to the cemetery, fir branches are scattered ahead of the procession. On the one hand, they show the deceased the path to the grave, on the other hand, they absorb the negative energy released by the deceased. Perhaps, if the rule is violated, all participants will face an inevitable fatal illness.

Explanation of what is happening

Some scatter fir branches, while others scatter carnations or tulips.
But flowers do not serve to absorb negative energy, being a symbol of respect, but this does not mean that everyone will immediately get sick and die in agony. Tradition does not contradict the canons of the church, if people think so, let them strew the road with fir branches, paying their last tribute to the deceased.

What awaits a person after death: the views of 4 religions

Strict prohibitions associated with memorial periods: 9 and 40 days

The procedure does not end with burial. In Orthodoxy and Islam it is customary to make a commemoration. Christians convene people to honor the newly deceased (counted from the date of death):

On the morning after the burial, those closest to him bring breakfast to the churchyard. Friends and comrades join at will.

On the third day they gather in a tight circle.
On the ninth, they treat colleagues and neighbors to funeral baked goods.
On the fortieth day they hold a feast, the same as a wake.

The funeral meal must comply with religious canons. The Church recommends adhering to the following standards:

It is advisable not to drink alcohol. A shot of vodka covered with a piece of bread is not welcome. This ritual is secular in nature.
A photo of the dead person is placed on the funeral table. Do not light a church candle before taking a photo. It is supposed to be placed near the Icon. And place a photo next to it.
Place the kutya consecrated in the temple on the table. Make the menu out of three simple dishes (the first liquid, the second hot, pie and compote).
Those gathered should not: speak badly about the newly deceased, express emotions violently, or indulge in fun.

You can help your orphaned relatives and souls only through prayer. Order a funeral service. It is repeated at specified times, as well as every anniversary.

Folk superstitions:

For the first nine days, do not look at your own reflection. It is believed that this is a sign of premature death.
Household members should not be left alone, especially at night. Psychologists completely agree with this.
You are not allowed to take things out of the house, move furniture, or repair premises for forty days. The soul is still saying goodbye. He will arrive and will not recognize the rooms. Will be bad.
Don't take anything from the graveyard. Any little thing will open the path to disaster. Leave flowers at the grave.
Days of mourning are spent at home. It is not advisable to go on a visit yourself and receive visitors at your place.

People determine the duration of mourning themselves. Religious citizens yearn for a year. In our conditions, such a long period is not necessary. It is advisable for the widow and children of the newly deceased to refrain from entertainment for the first two months.

Place a monument or tombstone

Immediately after the funeral, it is customary to install a temporary monument at the grave. In Orthodoxy, this is a forged or wooden cross. In Islam - an ordinary column with a sign. A year later, when the earth settles after burial, a tombstone made of granite or marble is installed. Caring for natural or artificial stone has its own characteristics, since improper use of chemically active substances can simply ruin its appearance.

Place a monument on the grave and improve it

When to place a monument on a grave? Act immediately. There is a widespread belief that until the ground settles, there is no point in installing a monument. This is not entirely true. It’s better to start preparing immediately after 40 days: decide what the monument will be like. Choose a ready-made project or order your own version based on an individual sketch.

Begin work on strengthening the grave in the spring. Cover the grave with reinforced concrete beams and lay a concrete base on top of them. After this, you can erect a monument in the summer - it is securely strengthened and insured against ground subsidence and distortion.

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What to do with the things of the deceased

March 22, 2019

What should be done with the belongings of a deceased person and after what time?

The church does not establish strict rules on this matter. Relatives usually sort them out within 40 days. The following rules have been adopted:

Items mentioned in an oral or written will are transferred to the heirs.
Memorabilia is distributed to relatives upon request. It is allowed to use Icons, indoor plants, clocks, mechanisms and household appliances to heirs and friends.
Documents are processed in accordance with the laws of the country. The passport is usually taken away.
Items associated with death are destroyed or thrown away.
The rest of the inheritance is donated to the poor, to shelters and churches.

According to the rules of decency, you are supposed to ask your friends if they would like to take something in memory of the deceased. The exception is bed linen and wearable items, except outerwear.

Superstitious people are afraid to touch the linen, dresses, shirts, and shoes of the murdered. The latent suspicion that the death was “contagious” is quite understandable. The people have established the opinion that it is better to give the bedding and items of clothing to the poor, having first washed them thoroughly. And shoes are thrown away or burned.

Receive compensation for a funeral or burial benefit

For every citizen of our country, a state funeral benefit is allocated. In January 2022, its amount is 6,424.98 rubles, not including additional local payments, the amount of which may vary depending on the region. For example, in Moscow such benefits are paid in the amount of 19,049 rubles 98 kopecks. This figure includes a fixed benefit and the Moscow supplement (12,625 rubles).

There is also a circle of people who are entitled to federal or local benefits, various allowances and compensation, for example, for perpetuating memory. These include:

veterans of the Second World War and other military operations;
persons nominated for state awards;
employees of government ministries and departments (Ministry of Internal Affairs, State Defense, Ministry of Emergency Situations, FSB, State Customs Committee, etc.)
disabled people.

If relatives want to receive benefits or compensation, you need to remember several important rules:

the benefit is paid to the person responsible for conducting the funeral;
compensation can only be claimed if the relatives conducted the funeral at their own expense;
the period allotted for receiving payments is 6 months from the date of death;
You can receive payments from territorial pension authorities, as well as from military registration and enlistment offices (depending on the affiliation of the deceased).

Is it possible to photograph a dead person?

A matter of belief. Esotericists claim that the photograph is an imprint of the energy of the deceased. If the latter was sick, then the illness will be passed on to those who will treat it later. But the photo ban has more to do with ethical standards.

Relatives want to remember their loved one as alive, cheerful, and active. This is why photographers are not welcome at funerals.

There is also a bad omen. Taking a photo attached to a monument or cross is not good. The family experiences the bitterness of multiple losses. It's better to leave it at the grave. And if you decide to replace it, then bury it in the ground next to the cross.

Church opinion

The clergy support the process of cleaning the floors after removing the deceased. They also note the following - if wet cleaning cannot be started right away, you still need to sweep the floor, albeit hastily, most importantly, with the thought that the path of the deceased will be calm.

Attention! Even if the deceased was an atheist, the floors are still washed after him, this will help loved ones ease the bitterness of loss.

After the deceased, people of any religion and nationality, including atheists, wash the floors

Signs about funerals

A sad event affects not only those closest to us. Some situations affect everyone around us. Specifics:

Just meeting a procession is not bad. Don't talk to people in it.
Seeing her through the window means illness and loss. Immediately close the curtains and pray.
The croaking of a black raven in a churchyard means big profits.
It’s bad when the domina with the newly deceased falls. A sign of the imminent death of another family member.

The best sign is a quick departure to another world without suffering. The deceased lived a sinless, bright life and fulfilled his karmic debt. He is welcomed to heaven.

If there was cremation

If a loved one was cremated, you dispose of their ashes in accordance with your decision or the wishes of the deceased. There are many options for how to deal with ashes: from the traditional burial of an urn with ashes in a grave or in a niche in a columbarium to scattering it in a memorial place or sending it into low-Earth orbit. You can separate the ashes and bury them in different graves, for example in your family's place of residence and in your hometown.

It is important to remember: after cremation, the urn with ashes is stored in the crematorium until claimed by its relatives for 1 year. If the ashes are not claimed, the urn will be buried in a common grave at the crematorium. The ashes are stored free of charge for up to 40 days, after which the crematorium begins to charge a storage fee.